it's NO sacrifice

i measured ... it's a full eleven and one half inches ... my pillow top mattress, that is, and so very close to fifty am I. Here in the bottom half of the east side of this country. Tennessee. We have many a folk without the warmth and comfort of a home. But, worse ... we have many a folk without the warmth and comfort of a church body. Cause, they don't know, what they don't know.  However, when we shelter them in the refuge of our house, our church house, our prayer house ... we received the gift of opportunity to share HIS love ... HIS forgiveness ... HIS kindness. And, it's NO  sacrifice  to put my pillow top to shame.

I am from ...

I am from the walk and I am from the wait.
I am from the coal of the sharecropper
I am from the wait and I am from the walk
the walk and the wait are together as one


I am from the cracks of the mason block
I am from the still standing four rooms
four rooms that birth more than fifthteen


I am from Knot and I am from D
yes, just D


I am from Lula and I am from Lillian
I am from Eula and I am from D Jr.


I am from the fair ... yet I am from the ground
I am from an old Hymn with no words
I am from the word and I am from a song


I am from Europe and I am from the far reaches
of african continent unseen ... never touched


I am from chittlins and hot sauce
I am from a good pickled fish sandwich
the white bread colored with mustard ... am I


I am from TOM and Jessie
a  love of generational pain ...


I am from boxes of unpacked truth
I am from the bottom of  brown crinckled sacks


I am from sweet potatoes and yams
I am from sweet milk colored with coffee


I am from the walk and I am from the wait.
I am from the here and I am from the there


I am from the sit and I am from the stand
I am from the with HIM I am.

to love a sister

no place to read
no place to write
no place to create


there her bed lays in the all
of the middle ...


of this my room ...
of this my space ...


but yet rarely is she there


cause some of us ... just
just ... do not get it


and right NOW ... she is on
the other side ... said Paul


to TIM ... staying attached
to one world ... while rejecting
HIS word


but How I Love her ... she is
... after all my sister and ...


what would not a sister
give to her sister.

tethered

sunday night during discipleship training ... my FATHER gave me a new gift ... you see sunday am ... after my early rising ... the cleaning started with me ... tried to get in a little before church. But, somehow ... the cleaning ended and more worship began ... as I tied my little cross ... to this huge mosaic cross ... tied to HIM always is the heart of the matter for me ... then ... there it was sunday night ... the Hebrew word ... hasaq ... O how i super love ... when HE locks it right on in.

that new thing

BSF is my new practice ... a weekly Wednesday gathering of women ... who study and respond to the word of GOD ... so i'm jumping in ... a seminar ... you mean, there is more ... to this weekly thing ... than just the study, lecture, notes and group ... a seminar .... on becoming a servant of GOD ... in i go ... cause i love to dig and this tennessee ground is but frozen.

then there it is my connection to this very moment ... that thing which will lock it in for me ... the word ... one word ... lowliness. lowliness and in lower case ... are but the same practice.

my heart felt desire to be so small i might never forget just who he is to me. 

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Philippians 2:3-8 (KJV)

that same JESUS

my uncle the Reverand Charles McCullough ... often shares one of my most fave sermons ... that same JESUS ... yes, this uncle is one of the many sons of the sharecropper. I love it ... when ... we see our FATHER at work in our very lives ... on a daily ... like we did last night. Renee's first video ... just reached in ... and grabbed our hearts ... you see ... our pastor ... Joe Vinson, has us digging into Ecclesiastes ... yes I know ... the Old Testiment ... where the teacher knew ... Everything Is Meaningless ... without the Lord ... that same JESUS.

three years + 5 months

before i could get started ... HE stopped me ... the BSF provided some more to learn. Yet another perspective on this book of Acts. Once again, there it is ... the Holy Spirit had prevented them from preaching the word in the province of Asia at that time... HE stops ... That night Paul had a vision ... HE starts ... this single life provides ... much freedom. this single life calls for submission to none other ... than our Lord and savior ... JESUS Christ ... the cup said it all ... then one day ... out of nowhere the cup broke ... as did me ... single mom of two ... working for HIM to inspire you ... three years + 5 months.

a giant bucket of water

he said it ... out loud ... in view ... of all of us, that our FATHER's creations all did what they were supposed to do ... except one ... the one HE saved for very last ... to create, for HIS ... very own ... pleasure ... my pastor ... called man ... God's Masterpiece ... once HE dumped ... a giant bucket of water ... on all of us ... except Noah ...

thoughts from last night sermon ... sonya la in lower case

a place of refuge

today, marked some time for me and my little family ... it's been months, many months ... since that day, yes, that day ... June 11, 2011 ... the day we received the keys, to this new life ... the day ... after three days of homelessness ... yes, I an unmarried woman, lost the mortgage on our home ... yes the one hundred and forty nine thousand dollar mortgage. yes, my FATHER wanted my children & I to be homeless. yes, my FATHER ... wanted my children and I ... to know the peace of a place called home. At my house of worship, at my church ... we now shelter the homeless women and children in our community ... each month ... a new practice. The church is a place of refuge ... is it not.  

today, marked some time for me ... my Mother's birthday is ... exactly one month from today ... and another new practice was started ... not by me ... BSF ... meets weekly ... at my church ... to do no thing but study ... HIS word & all of a sudden ... i'm learning MORE ... as i hunger for more ... then i look back ... at all ... my many pictures and i realize ... that none is really new for me ... but you to see me is what's new.

faith & foreclosure ... meets a body of believers ... sounds like a book to me! 

just one cup

so, today ... this AM ... no Joshua but Ezekiel ... and this book of Ezekiel, made me feel guilty ... guilty over my past life ... over the life of  Israel ... the word whoredom ... took over the empty places in my mind. Israel had no morals ... no guilt ... no shame. Their pleasures remind me of all the new singular coffee makers. A big, giant, heavy duty coffee maker for the drinker of one cup. Why bother, just get your cup of single Joe at the office. Our Father was really put out with Israel.

chance is for none

this am ... again, I did a bible flip and there it was again ... the story of Joshua and HIS relationship with the great divider, the great multiplier ... the great I AM. it's all about Joshua these days, every time I open the book ... there he is. Joshua, son of NuN ... it's burnt into my brain, written on my heart. And, I get it, I really get it ... this granddaughter of the sharecropper ... this granddaughter of the tobacco farmer ... this daughter of the teacher of wrenches. Leave nothing ... to chance. For chance is for none. there will be no rest for sonya till the work is done.

stack em up

ah, today ... this mourning before 5:04 AM ... i got the call, to open the book ... HIS book and seek HIM, HIS thoughts, HIS ways, there all, right there in black and white ... this is my new practice ...on a very small stool ...
to 
stack em up
the night before, 
my books,
piled high
ready to tumble over
my
Bible is on high
&
the rest
fall
below
as I
give
HIM
the very first
HOUR or more
of HIS day... cause it ALL belongs to HIM.

the golden hour

i love this new place ... no links to create ... nothing to research ... just me and some words, now with that said ... I mean, I barley got it typed out ... when I thought of a link, I need to share with you. it's a Dan Miller link ... he lives, country side in the town of my family's birth ... Franklin TN.

Henry Ward Beecher said, “The first hour is the rudder of the day – the Golden Hour.”

so, yes ... that's what I hope to do each and every day ... I started this new habit, this new practice ... a few weeks befor Christmas. I start with HIS word, always feeling guilty ... if I read less of HIS word than someone else ... you know another author.

the wondering

today, my Father woke me up ... thinking about my fourth grade sunday school class. It was when I was in the fourth grade, that the writing stopped ... my mother found my precious writings and invaded my privacy or so I thought. it never occurred to the little sonya ... that she (an obsessive reader) just might know something I did not. Like the children of Israel ... the wondering equals to exactly forty years.

in lower case: sonyamacdesigns

it must be simple and plain. Black words ... white paper. It's a new practice. It's a new habit. I want to humble myself. I want you to see me small and weak. I want you to see me poor and meek. No longer ashamed. This is me. His am I. But in my weakness, HE is strong. I know it seams ... so very insignificant. My signature in lower case.  Your signature in lower case. I know it seams so very insignificant my hands cupped open in prayer ... no longer clinched and closed. Your hands open in prayer ... open ... accepting ... what HE has for me. What HE has for you.